PA to the CEO "I saw theses big white ducks on the pond."
Policy manager "Big whight ducks? You mean swans?"
PA to the CEO "Big white ducks."
Policy manager "You mean swans?"
Pa to the CEO "Swans?"
Policy manager "Swans"
Pa to the CEO "Swans... so yeah, I was looking at them and I was wondering how they would taste..."
Showing posts with label Hot Topics of Office Conversation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hot Topics of Office Conversation. Show all posts
Thursday, 16 July 2009
Wednesday, 26 July 2006
Hot Topics of Office Conversation
Todays Highlights:
“Apparently they use pigs to find truffles”
“Yeah, I’m surprised they don’t eat them though”
“Apparently they use pigs to find truffles”
“Yeah, I’m surprised they don’t eat them though”
“God, it’s too hot to think”
“It’s too hot to do anything”
“This morning I was sweating on the train so much I was worried people would think I’d wet myself because of the sweat running down my thighs.
There was a woman opposite me who looked like she’d dipped her head in a bucket of water – she was sweating that much !”
Thursday, 28 April 2005
hot topics of chav conversation 2
Before lunch it was "German women are hairy and don't shave under their arms or wax their bikini lines and it's minging". Chavs don't want to share their hotel pool with hairy women, thank you very much.
After lunch it was women who change their names when they get married and end up with a stupid surname like Pratt or Burke or Hobgoblin. "They should just say no!"
After lunch it was women who change their names when they get married and end up with a stupid surname like Pratt or Burke or Hobgoblin. "They should just say no!"
Thursday, 3 March 2005
hot topics of chav conversation
Yesterday the chavs were debating age differences in relationships. Apparently it's OK for a 28 year old to go out with a 24 year old but not a 26 year old (specifically Jordan) to go out with a 19 year old, specifically (Gareth Gates).
Who ever gave chav A that copy of Jordans autobiography has a lot to answer for.
According to the chavs there is a gay one on Eastenders who gets loads of fan mail. They just can't understand it because "he's not fit at all!". But, as they point out there's no accounting for taste. They illustrated this point by pointing out the fact that Dennis was really popular and they didn't fancy him, he wasn't their type (no Burbery or sovrign rings).
G889 would like to point out that comments relating to the fancyability of Nigel Harmon in no way reflect on the opinions of the author (even though his name is Nigel *shudder*) - EG
Who ever gave chav A that copy of Jordans autobiography has a lot to answer for.
According to the chavs there is a gay one on Eastenders who gets loads of fan mail. They just can't understand it because "he's not fit at all!". But, as they point out there's no accounting for taste. They illustrated this point by pointing out the fact that Dennis was really popular and they didn't fancy him, he wasn't their type (no Burbery or sovrign rings).
G889 would like to point out that comments relating to the fancyability of Nigel Harmon in no way reflect on the opinions of the author (even though his name is Nigel *shudder*) - EG
Thursday, 24 February 2005
hot topics of office conversation - 5
Today’s hot topic was the Tube linesof the London Underground. Specifically which ones are the best & worst.
The District, Circle and Hammersmith & City Lines were deemed the worst as they are completely unreliable. The Jubilee line and The DLR were voted the best as they always run on time and hardly ever have any disruptions.
The DLR also gets extra points for being elevated and driverless which means you can sit at the front of the train and pretend you are driving. There are also a couple of points (when it's heading through Canary Wharf) where it goes up and down steep tracks and around sharp bends like a slow and unscary roller coaster.
Wouldn't it be great if there actually was a roller coaster you could use to get around the city? You'd actually look forward to going to work . Unless you had a hangover. . .
The District, Circle and Hammersmith & City Lines were deemed the worst as they are completely unreliable. The Jubilee line and The DLR were voted the best as they always run on time and hardly ever have any disruptions.
The DLR also gets extra points for being elevated and driverless which means you can sit at the front of the train and pretend you are driving. There are also a couple of points (when it's heading through Canary Wharf) where it goes up and down steep tracks and around sharp bends like a slow and unscary roller coaster.
Wouldn't it be great if there actually was a roller coaster you could use to get around the city? You'd actually look forward to going to work . Unless you had a hangover. . .
Wednesday, 23 February 2005
hot topics of office conversation pt 4
At 2pm it was Blood Donation - a rather serious topic for a change.
Many countries around the world will not accept British people as blood donors. They also will not allow any one who was in Britan for 6 weeks or more between 1980 and 1996 to donate blood. This is becouse there is a miniscule chance that they may have contracted vCJD from infected beef (or Lamb aparently) during that time and may consiquently pass on thet virus via a blood donation.
The pertinant questions raised were; What if you are a vegitarian and have been a vegitarian since birth, shouldn't you be allowed to donate? Also (and this was a random but very good point raised by Belinda), What if you had traveled on British areoplanes? Wouldn't the meat you ate on them be contaminated too?
And besides which British beef was exported all over the world and people from countries other than Britan have contracted the desease so what's to say pepole who ate that contaminated Beef or live in those other affected countries aren't just as high a risk as us Brits?
Many countries around the world will not accept British people as blood donors. They also will not allow any one who was in Britan for 6 weeks or more between 1980 and 1996 to donate blood. This is becouse there is a miniscule chance that they may have contracted vCJD from infected beef (or Lamb aparently) during that time and may consiquently pass on thet virus via a blood donation.
The pertinant questions raised were; What if you are a vegitarian and have been a vegitarian since birth, shouldn't you be allowed to donate? Also (and this was a random but very good point raised by Belinda), What if you had traveled on British areoplanes? Wouldn't the meat you ate on them be contaminated too?
And besides which British beef was exported all over the world and people from countries other than Britan have contracted the desease so what's to say pepole who ate that contaminated Beef or live in those other affected countries aren't just as high a risk as us Brits?
Friday, 18 February 2005
The only man
The only man in our end of the office today is David.
He fled from the room in disgust when we started discussing trashy celeb autobiographies (Ulrika Johnson, Joran and LouLou to be precise).
He fled from the room in disgust when we started discussing trashy celeb autobiographies (Ulrika Johnson, Joran and LouLou to be precise).
Thursday, 17 February 2005
hot topics of office conversation pt3
10am Carls strange dream about a squirrel, a scorpion, a spider, his girlfriend and 2 male colleagues.
In the dream he had just got a pet squirrel which his girlfiend told him to carry home by its tail. The squirrel didn't like this and strated writhing and the tail came off in Carls hand. The squirrel ran away and Carl was really upset that it wouldn't be able to jump about iin the trees properly becouse it now didn't have a tail to help it balance. He got home and Tim and Drew were in his bathroom along with a spider in the bath and a scorpion who was being treatening. Drew told Carl he had to get rid of the scorpion and so Carl whacked it with a towel and it exploded all over the bathroom.
Anne interpreted it as anxiety about his upcoming wedding. The squirrel was Carl being restained by coupledome and fighting to get free and winning that freedom at a cost. The scorpion was the wedding and Drew (who is single) is Carls single self trying to get rid of the wedding and Tim(who is married) was Carls married self, not doing much at all.
Quite an insiteful interpretation, me thinks.
11.20am History is bollocks. Its written by the victors so how can we trust it to be true? A lot of stuff was made up by the victorians and now people just assume it's the truth ie: chivalrus knights in shining armour were actualy just mercinaries and Robin Hood was just a thief who had nothing to do with the crusades and wasn't royal. Most of the people from history who we hold up for doing great deeds probably did them for purely selfish reasons, but history has made them into heros.
2.05pm Fox hunting. Quite a heated debate with arguments for and against.
In the dream he had just got a pet squirrel which his girlfiend told him to carry home by its tail. The squirrel didn't like this and strated writhing and the tail came off in Carls hand. The squirrel ran away and Carl was really upset that it wouldn't be able to jump about iin the trees properly becouse it now didn't have a tail to help it balance. He got home and Tim and Drew were in his bathroom along with a spider in the bath and a scorpion who was being treatening. Drew told Carl he had to get rid of the scorpion and so Carl whacked it with a towel and it exploded all over the bathroom.
Anne interpreted it as anxiety about his upcoming wedding. The squirrel was Carl being restained by coupledome and fighting to get free and winning that freedom at a cost. The scorpion was the wedding and Drew (who is single) is Carls single self trying to get rid of the wedding and Tim(who is married) was Carls married self, not doing much at all.
Quite an insiteful interpretation, me thinks.
11.20am History is bollocks. Its written by the victors so how can we trust it to be true? A lot of stuff was made up by the victorians and now people just assume it's the truth ie: chivalrus knights in shining armour were actualy just mercinaries and Robin Hood was just a thief who had nothing to do with the crusades and wasn't royal. Most of the people from history who we hold up for doing great deeds probably did them for purely selfish reasons, but history has made them into heros.
2.05pm Fox hunting. Quite a heated debate with arguments for and against.
Wednesday, 16 February 2005
hot topics of office conversation - 2
9.30am the best way to drive from Hampstead to Hendon.
9.50am the story in yesterdays paper linking the Hep B vaccine to arthritus
10.25am the westend play 'The woman in black'.
11.30am the news that Jo, our colleague with the broken leg, will be off work for at least 4 weeks and is already going off her head with boredom because she can't leave the sofa. (Also briefly debated was 'who's responsibility is it to start the get well soon card going round ?')
11.45am Gavins new commute from his girlfriends house in the sticks. This mutated into a converation about geneticaly engeineerd oil seed rape crops and the fact that you can make desil fuel from the left over fat from fish and chip shops.
1.30pm 'versace is so chav' discussed by - The chavs
4pm Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, brilliant film but only if you don't watch the dubed version.
4.15pm Debby who is soon to go on maternity leave, caused a stir and much excietd cooing and baby chatter. (I turned my back and grit my teeth.)
9.50am the story in yesterdays paper linking the Hep B vaccine to arthritus
10.25am the westend play 'The woman in black'.
11.30am the news that Jo, our colleague with the broken leg, will be off work for at least 4 weeks and is already going off her head with boredom because she can't leave the sofa. (Also briefly debated was 'who's responsibility is it to start the get well soon card going round ?')
11.45am Gavins new commute from his girlfriends house in the sticks. This mutated into a converation about geneticaly engeineerd oil seed rape crops and the fact that you can make desil fuel from the left over fat from fish and chip shops.
1.30pm 'versace is so chav' discussed by - The chavs
4pm Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, brilliant film but only if you don't watch the dubed version.
4.15pm Debby who is soon to go on maternity leave, caused a stir and much excietd cooing and baby chatter. (I turned my back and grit my teeth.)
Tuesday, 15 February 2005
hot topics of office conversation
The Hot topics of convesation in my office yesterday were...
Modern art and The Tate Modern Art Gallery (9am)
Colleague Jo breaking her leg skiing (10am)
Baby 81 (10.30am)
The latest animated movies (3pm)
Last nights local lightning strike (3.20pm)
The chocolates sent to some of our staff by one of our courier companies (3.40pm)
Modern art and The Tate Modern Art Gallery (9am)
Colleague Jo breaking her leg skiing (10am)
Baby 81 (10.30am)
The latest animated movies (3pm)
Last nights local lightning strike (3.20pm)
The chocolates sent to some of our staff by one of our courier companies (3.40pm)
Monday, 14 February 2005
my bloody valentine
John just pointed out that valentines day is proably the most unromantic day of the year.
There is no spontinatey. Everyone is TOLD they have to be romantic by big corporations, how is that romantic ?
Shouldn't romance be spontanious? or at the very least shouldn't the person attempting to be romantic be doing so becouse they want to and not becouse they feel obligated too.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,3-1484028,00.html
There is no spontinatey. Everyone is TOLD they have to be romantic by big corporations, how is that romantic ?
Shouldn't romance be spontanious? or at the very least shouldn't the person attempting to be romantic be doing so becouse they want to and not becouse they feel obligated too.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,3-1484028,00.html
Monday, 7 February 2005
annoying office chatter
Caroline has just got engaged. She's glad he didn't wait till Valentines
day becouse that's 'so cliched'.
FUCK OFF !!!!!!!!!
I DON'T GIVE A SHIT AND I DON'T WANT TO FUCKING HEAR ABOUT IT.
Lyndsey is up ther right now 'cooing' over the ring, and I mean literaly
'cooing' like a fucking pidgeon.
If I have to hear Carolines fucking proposal story one more time I'm gonna
rip that fucking ring off her finger and shove it up her arse.
The're talking about fucking 'cuts' and 'clusters' and 'settings' now.
I just want to be able to get on with my work without their constant fucking
twittering in the backgroung.
I feel really sorry for Tony having to sit right next to them and having to listen to their girly gossipy shit all day. No wonder he always looks so pissed off.
day becouse that's 'so cliched'.
FUCK OFF !!!!!!!!!
I DON'T GIVE A SHIT AND I DON'T WANT TO FUCKING HEAR ABOUT IT.
Lyndsey is up ther right now 'cooing' over the ring, and I mean literaly
'cooing' like a fucking pidgeon.
If I have to hear Carolines fucking proposal story one more time I'm gonna
rip that fucking ring off her finger and shove it up her arse.
The're talking about fucking 'cuts' and 'clusters' and 'settings' now.
I just want to be able to get on with my work without their constant fucking
twittering in the backgroung.
I feel really sorry for Tony having to sit right next to them and having to listen to their girly gossipy shit all day. No wonder he always looks so pissed off.
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