Oh dear, what can the matter be....

It's been a busy and eventful weekend pour moi.

Yesterday, I got stuck in a lavatory. I kid you not.

I was about to head home from the Westfield shopping centre when I decided to use the loo. The only available cubical was the one at the far end with the wobbly door lock. I didn't think anything of it. It locked OK, but would not unlock, it just spun round and round and round. Had it been any other type of lock. I am certain I could have gotten myself out. But not at Westfield. Oh no they had to install big fancy doors with locks you can't get at.

So, after about 2 minutes of knocking on the door and asking for help. The kind lady in the next cubicle went off to get the cleaning lady to help.

The cleaning lady called security who came along after 10 minutes and decided to call maintenance. The cleaning lady realised this could take a looooooong time and hit on the idea of using a coin to spin the lock from the outside and open the door. And so, easy as that, I was free, embarrassed, but free.

Look what I made!

I went to a cake decorating class.

The Circus

Today I walked home to the sound of Take That live in concert, live and Loud and eminating from Wembley Stadium.

It was just like the good old days of the late 80s and early 90s when concerts at the original Wembley Stadium were so loud we could hear them inside the house with all the door and windows closed.

I ended my day sat in the garden, glass of wine in hand, listening to the concert and watching the fireworks.

back to the drawing board

I went swimming today and colapsed after 8 lengths. Pathetic.

So I decided to set my self a new challenge and swim Liverpool to New York. that is until I found out how far apart they are. 5299km. It took me about 4 months to be fit enough to swim 1km at a time. it'll take me years. I need a shorter swim. Any sugestions?

He still hasn't emailed, the complete and utter BASTARD.

repent at leisure

I went speed dating on Saturday. I arrived on time, which was much earlier than I should have. We were asked to arrive at 7.30 to register for the event at 8pm. I was the only girl there at 7.30 the rest arrived in pairs and threes as it got closer to kick off. We were supposed to mingle and gett chatting. I am incapable of doing this due to my cripling shyness, so I stand at the bar slowly sipping my wine, while all the men - who also seem to be here in groups steadily try to avoid looking at me, while praying that it won't be all fat ugly birds tonite.

Eeventualy it started. I took my place at my table and my first date, a lawyer form Azerbijan sat down in front of me. We were supposed to chat untill the whistle blew - about 3 minutes. My first date didn't even want to spend that long talking to me. We introduced ourselves and thenhe tried to excuse himself to go to the bar ... but no way in hell wasI going to let him humiliate me like that so I told him that actualy you have to keep talikng untill the whistle blew. He stayed put and we made awkward small talk for another minute and a half.

Most of my dates seemed to go well and i actualy enjoyed most of them and could have chatted to them for a lot longer that the 3 minutes allotted. There were of course a couple of complete duds. One was a good looking bloke who said he was a music producer and loved the sound of his own voice. Apparently he is working on a top secret project with someone really really famous. If it's such a bit secret and you can't talk abo7ut it why mention it at all you twat.

Then there was the Vietnamese translator whos body language screamed ' i'm really not interested anddon't want to talk to you cos your fat and disgusting'. There was the student accountant who didn't listen to a word I say and the Australian who kept insisting that I must be a good runner becouse i am part Ethiopian. Atlk about racial steriotyping, I should have asked him if he was a racist, alcoholic, sheep fucking, cunt, 'cos like ya know you're an Aussie.

After the event you enter your results on the web site. You give everyone a tick for either a yes, no or friend.
I ticked a few yeses, a few nos and a few friends. Yoou are then informed if anyone you marked as a yes or a friend did the same for you, you don't see the nos. I got several freiend matches and one yes. Being a pessimist, I wasn't expecting a yes ( hoping yes, but expecting no). I definetly wasn't expecting a yes from him. He was Music producers flat mate and just as good looking. I do remeber haveing a really nice chat with lots of laughing. I think he was the one who told me I had a nice smile.

I emailed him. not straight away obviously, I didn't want to look desperate. I waited until Monday evening and sent a short message along the lines of 'Was treally nice meeting you and I really liked talking to you. I look forward to chatting to you again.' I didn't want to sound too keen ans scare him off.

He hasn't replied. I know that there are many, many good reasons that he could have for not replying: hit by a bus, on holiday, knackered computer, arrested for murder, stabbed by mugger, fell over and hit head on curb resulting in amnesia, etc, etc...
But that hasn't stopped me chekcing my fucking email every hour for thr last 2 days anxiously waiting for his email like a some patehtic needy love starved spinster - oh wait I am.

Whay hasn't he fucking emailed me ???

Did he tick yes by mistake ? Did he tick yes for a joke ? Did he tick yes for all the women there (just in case)and is now busy with one of the thin pritty ones? WTF is going on?

Is he playing it cool? Is he trying not to seem too eager so that he doesn't scare me off? Has he changed his mind? Did I take the wrong approach with my email? Should I have asked him out?

I hate this, it's not fun, it's not exciting, it's horrible. It's worse than being lonely.

32

Turning 32 was not as horrible as I thought it would be.

My family threw me a surprise party. I've always wanted a surprise party.

employee of the month

I have just become the recipient of the first ever 'Staff Award' at the purple charity. I got a certificate and £100 in vouchers of my choosing. This is my reward for keeping the department alive while my manager was off on 3 months sick leave.

Over a month later I am only just begining to catch up and get back to what resembles normal. In an uncharacteristic surge of bravado I asked for a pay rise. the answer as expected was a big fat no.

I am tired.

501!

Yes Dave, I have been enjoying sleeping on my new mattress !
It's nice and soft and great for my back. The only downside to a foam mattress is that they do tend to trap heat. It's great in winter but not so wonderful now that its warming up. I'm waking in the middle of the night roasting hot and drenched in sweat, despite having forked out extra for the mattress with the NASA desigend cooling vents. But then nothing is prefect and so I shall just ditch my duvet for a sheet.

The main reason I haven't been blogging is pure and simple exhaustion. My boss has been off sick for the past 2 months and i have been doing both his work and mine. In the run up to the new financial year on the 1st April it was insanely busy. We were getting non stop calls from people who had found them selves with a supply in their budget and wanted to spend it on training courses for their staff rather than loose the money, because as we all know next years budgets are tight and one of the first things organisations cut back on in recession is training. So at least we have a full calender of work for the next 12 months.

During March I was doing so much overtime I accrued a weeks worth of lieu time, which would be brilliant if I were able to take it. In addition to the lieu time i had 5 days of annual leave I had to take or else loose.

Cue a shitty holiday to Portugal with my mum. We paid far too much and had a mediocre time. We kept finding dead cockroaches in the apartment. The swimming pool was cold as ice and we couldn't go out in the evenings because mother dearest had to watch Eastenders on the satellite TV every night. I felt just as crap when I got back as when I left.

the princess and the pea

My new mattress finally arrived. But as i didn't have the energy to drag the old mattress outside I just slung the new one on top. My bed is now really high and super bouncy. I told mum to hide a dried pea under the mattress so that we could confirm my life long suspicion that i am in fact a real princess, but she just told me to stop being silly - well that's Evil Queens for you. Next thing you know she'll have me sleeping in the fire place and be offering me suspicious apples.