This is not a library

I popped into Woolworths for a bottle of Diet Coke when the headline of a newspaper caught my eye, so I picked it up for a quick look to see if the story inside actually made it worth buying. I'd been standing there leafing through it for a few minutes when I heard "EXCUSE ME ! But you can't stand there reading the paper, If you stand there reading no one will buy the papers".
I was shocked not only at what the woman was saying to me but at how LOUD she was saying it.

I said "oh, ok" and moved around to the other side of the stand to look at the broad sheets. I was flicking through the Guardian when I heard her screech at someone else "EXCUSE ME! YOU CAN'T STAND THERE READING THE PAPER" So loudly that everyone in the queue for the till turned to stare. The woman moved off, obviously embarrassed at told off. Then I heard her at it again less than 10 second later "YOU CAN'T STAND THERE READING THE PAPER". She was getting less and less polite as she imposed her reign of tyranny over the newspaper section.

The forth time I heard it, was directed at me again because I'd now had the Guardian in my hand for a whole 2 minutes. "OK" I said, not wanting to make a fuss and strolled away the psycho and her hallowed turf down to the back of the store where they keep the magazines.

I picked up Heat realized it was bollocks, put it down and picked up Now which was also bollocks so I put that down and picked up Instyle which was also bollocks but came with a free pair of flip flops. "I'VE TOLD YOU BEFORE YOU CAN'T STAND AROUND READING !!!" What The Fuck ! Was she stalking me around the store? Did I have 'I think this is a library' tattooed across my forehead?
The fucking magazine had been in my hands for all of 20 seconds.
"I was just looking at it to see if I want to buy it"
"I told you before, you can't stand around reading them . . . blagh, blagh, blagh..."
"I WASN'T READING IT, I WAS LOOKING AT IT."

I put the stupid magazine down and walked off. The Bitch on a power trip had really pissed me off. I dumped the newspapers I was going to buy on a shelf full of Barbies and left the store with the £5 I would have spent in there had they not employed psychotic control freak Bitches to patrol their shelves harassing browsing customers.

From now on I'm boycotting Woolworths and will be buying all my magazines from boarders where they actually encourage you to have a good browse before you buy.