Saturday, 28 October 2006

saturday nighs are shit

I've been getting really miserable at the weekends lately. i lookforward to them with frervour and then when they arrive I'm miserable and spend both days stomping round the house like a moody teenager and wondeing aimlessly through the west end trying to distract myslef from my misery. I probably need proffesional help.

I found thid post which I wrote this a few weeks ago (I have edited out the more pathetic of my drunken rambling):

When you have no social life like I do. Saturadys are the worst night of the week. Its 6.45pm I'm drunk on half a bottle of wine and I'm blogging to avoid watching X-factor with my mum. I fucking hate X Factor.

I was home by 8pm yeaterday night. Nemisis was home at 8am this morning. Just one more piece of fuel to the fire of jelousy that makes me hate her.

My life sucks.

I read about a roller disco in Kings Cross it sounds like fun. Would it be sad to go solo? Would I enojoyit if I did? Would it be shameful to skate around the room to cheesy disco on my own? If I were thin it wouldn't.

If I were thin I wouldn't be on my own for long. I wouldn't be the fat looser-billy no-mates in the corner. If I was thin things would be different. Wouldn't they?

Can I make my self anorexic? I have been trying but I think probably bullimia would be easier. After all I have been binge eating for years. It's just the purging I need to learn.

Even if I did meet someone who didn't mind being seen out with a fat girl could he ever live up to my romance novel induced expectations?

I doubt it.

I don't know if I should post this.

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