I was on my way back to the hostel fake Prada bag in hand and my purse 1,500 bhat lighter when I decided to take a stroll through Phuket Towns day market.
I was marveling at the live Turtles, Catfish and Eels floundering in buckets on the floor and recoiled at the stench of rotting vegetable's and putrified fish when I noticed a rat scuttle across the aisle in front of me.
After coming to the conclusion that going deeper into the bowels of the stinking market probably wasn't the best idea, I turned around and headed back the way I had come. Until I spied another rat - a huge rat, cross my path a few feet away.
There was a rat in front of me and a rat behind me and probably several rats on either side of me and I knew I had to get the hell out of there. I picked up my pace towards the exit.
As I approached the point where the huge rat had passed in front of me, don't ya know the dirty little bugger decided that it really didn't like that side of the aisle after all and would return to whatever sewage filled hole it had crawlwd out from.
The only problem I had with this is that my foot was in the way. It ran straight into it, then over it and left a thick black line of dirt across my shin where its filthy disgusting rat tail swiped me. I screamed and shrieked like a little girl and a group of old Thai women nearby laughed hysterically while pointing and shouting what I assumed were words of reassurance at me.
I legged it out of there straight to the 7Eleven for a bottle of Dettol. They didn't have any, but I managed to find some rubbing alcohol and a tube of antiseptic cream. After scrubbing my leg raw I poured the whole bottle of alcohol over it and then when the burning had died down I smeared on the whole antiseptic cream and prayed that I wouldn't catch the plague.