Sunday, 29 January 2006


There are a lot of bull shitters in hostels. They seem to think that making up stories to comepensate for ther lack of perosnality will make them popular. They often like to pretend they are 'hard men' and talk about fights they've been in, gangs the're involved with and the huge amounts of money they make as night club bouncer/bodyguard/stuntman.

There is a Kiwi bullshitter called Fluffy who loiters about our hostel every evening getting pissed up with the party people in the court yard. Depending on when in the night you are unfortunate enough to get talking to Fluffy he will tell you one of the following things.

1. When someone has a guitar out, Fluffy will declare to one and all that he came second in the world karaoke championships. Bullshit.

2. He's a qualified bouncer and part of the global union and can work anywhere in the world except Australia that's whey here he's a laborer on a building site. *bullshit !*

3. (After he's had a few more beers) He's a bodyguard and part of the International Bodyguard Association and can work and where in the world and earn $3,000 a day
**bullshit ! ! **

4. (After a shit load of beer) He'll tell you he is a member of New Zealands biggest Maori gang - and he got into it by stabbing a triad while working as a bouncer in a bar. According to his story his story a lone triad entered the pub and for some reason needed to be chucked out a while later. When Fluffy tried to chuck the triad out of the bar the triad pulled a knife which fluffy duly wrestled of him using some lightening fast ninja skills and then used the knife to repeatedly stab the triad in the gut. The gang leader who just happened to be there to witness the incident was so impressed that he asked fluffy and his huge beerbelly to come and be his bodyguard. ***bullshit ! ! !***

There are a lot of really fucked up Kiwis in Australia. Kiwi Dave - who is probably the only vaguely normal Kiwi I have met so far summed it up like this. "People like fluffy are so full of shit that they fuck up their lives back home so badly that they can't stay there, they have to leave and come to Australia, they have no choice. No one wants anything to do with them back home, and pissed up backpackers are the only ones who will have anything to do with them here."


  1. You always get one asshole no matter where you go.He just likes to hear himself i think.

  2. I love these sorts of guys because I'll start making up complete bullshit that is so outlandish, it's obviously a lie just to see how far the liar will take it.