What earth girl did

I had an uneventful Christmas Day, blessed by the failure of my family to descend upon us until early evening.

I bought a beautiful skirt from Monsoon on boxing day, followed by a panic attack in Accessorise due to the sheer volume of people in such a small space.

The next day I loitered outside John Lewis on Oxford Street at 9am for the start of the sale (so I'd avoid the crowds and another panic attack).

I then hit Bravissimo - the specialist bra shop for the more well endowed lady, and was mightily disappointed by the contents of the sales rack.

I then wandered the west end browsing the sales for another couple of hours and showed seriously impressive self restraint in my meagre purchases.

And then I went to the cinema to see St Trinnians. I was extremely disappointed. It was almost as bad as 1980s (completely shit and therefore little remembered) 'The Wild cats of St Trinians'. To be any good it would need a complete re-edit, some serious rewriting and a complete re-cast (with the exception of Russel Brand - who was excellent, but under utilised). Like the last Carry On film it was a poor modern addition to a much loved classic series. What the film makers just didn't seem to understand is that what made the original St Trinnians movies great was not the pretty girls in suspenders, blokes in drag and dumb sight gags. It was the well crafted plot, solidly written script and great casting. This new film is just a poor excuse for a gross out comedy full of unfunny sight gags and gratuitous shots of girls in suspenders.

Glad tidings we bring

Christmas is fast approaching (just five days to go) and the only place that I feel even remotely Christmasy is the Office. sad but true. There are no decorations on our desks but there is a big christmas tree in the foyer decked out in the corporate colours.

I brought in a Christmas cake baked with my own fair hands yesterday and it went down a treat as witnessed by the scant few crumbs left on the plate come 5pm.

‘your xmas cake is gorgeous’
‘I’m most impressed. I may have to sneak down to the kitchen and have some more’

Those are the kinds of emails that make my heart warm !

And finally I received a big bloggy Christmas present in the return of Universal Solider to the blogsphere. Welcome back Uni!

Stupid Teenagers

Aparently the gang on my road have named themselves the Crips - in a feeble minded atempt to imitate the notorious LA gang. Their rivals the Bloods - also unimaginatively named after an LA gang, who just so happen to be the arch rivals of the LA Crips are all ex members of the Crips (the Crips from my street not LA).

My twelve year old cousin was asked by a gang member on the bus "Who you repin'?" 'cos the Crips don't want any Blood on their teritory. He's twelev and was wering his school uniform for fucks sake and I really don't feel safe walking home in the dark.

I saw a durg deal in the entrance to the alley behind the shops. I really want to report this shit to the police. But I really don't want to get involved. Mostly for fear of reprisals. I know they're only stupid little fuckwit teenagers. But there stupid little fuckwit teenagers with knives and guns and pitbulls.

party season

Men in tuxedos on the tube, girls in posh frocks hailing taxis and me not dressed up becouse I have no where to go.