you perverts!!!

While obsessivly checking my counter stats I was once again assured that a good percentage of the people who come to my blog are complete pervs.

My new calim to fame are the following high rankings on MSN searches.

'Naked Sweedish Girls' (I rank number 1 !!!).

'britny being fucked' (Number 2!!)

'going rate for a blow job' (Number 7)

Some wierd but non perv searches included

'Millitary Sservice Norway' (number 1)

'Coogee Beach Christmas Day' (number 1)

I love calculators

I arrived back at the hostel from my mind numbing job at the sandwich bar to be greeted by our incredibly excited Kiwi Receptionist. "We're going on a road trip to Adelaide - Come with us!"
"OK"

Lord, how I hated the sandwich bar and truth be told I was looking for an excuse to quit. But it had to be a good one. They were paying me fairly good money and you just can't walk away from a job that pays cash in had if you don't have a good reason. But this was the excuse I needed. A road trip with my friends, a never to be repeated opportunity and once in a life time trip. Hell yeah I was going.

When I told the greasy cafe owner I was leaving he seemed to take it well. Right up until he tried to rip me off with my final pay packet.
I had careful worked out with a pen and paper exactly how much I was owed and the boss had carefully worked out that he owed me a lot less than I expected. "Did you deduct a half hour every day for your breaks?"
Huh! "Some days I only got 10 minutes!"
"Well that's the hospitality industry I'm afraid" Cunt.
I adjusted my figures and we went through the numbers again. I still always arrived at a total significantly higher than his. "I assure you its $420, look I'll get a calculator if you don't believe me"
Yeah, you go get a calculator you smarmy bastard.

And the calculator says $516 !!!!!!!!

Ha Ha Ha, you smarmy thieving asshole, fuck you, pay me my money, then stick your stupid Sandwich bar up your arse!!!

Everybody needs good Neighbours

Whether you watch the iconic Aussie soap opera or not, no self respecting British backpacker can leave Melbourne without going on the Official Neighbours tour. The first stop is the school that doubles for Erinsburough High. I haven't watched Neighbours for about 10 years and have no idea what Erinsburough high looks like but I was assured by the die hard fans on the bus that this was definitely the place.





We piled out of the van and one by one had photos taken with the Erinsburough high sign conveniently stowed in the back of the bus.

From there it was on to the Grundy Studios where we sat parked outside the main gate for half an hour - just in case one of the cast happened to wander past. None did. but our guide kept us amused with tales of the cast and their astonishingly small pay packets, which have resulted in many former cast members having to work as receptionists, waiters or truck drivers once their hope of bigger and better things have been dashed.

Finally it was time to move on Pin Oak Court the quiet Melbourne street that doubles for Ramsey Street.



I chose to do the tour on a day when they were filming - hoping to see Harold Bishop or the ghost of Granny Helen. But alas the only people I got to see were Susan Kennedy and Lynn Scully riding in a ridiculose wedding carrage. Still the day wasn't a total waste, on the way back into town they had just enough time to show an old episode of Neighbours from the Greatest Hits DVD. I bet you can guess which one the girls voted for..... Scott and Charlenes Wedding !!!

force 10 on the richter scale

Was it and earthquake shaking my bed last night or was it the Dutch bint on the top bunk shagging some random she met in the pub?

It was the latter of course.

It had to happen sooner or later I supose. You can't live in backpacker hostels for 9 months without at someone shagging in the same bunk bed you are trying to sleep in.

Drawing a blank

I had some really good posts planned.

I carefully constructed them in my head while on the tram to work. Of course, now that I'm sat in front of the computer I can't remember a single one.

So let me update you with the mundane. I have a new job as a Sandwichhand in the trendy end of town (I had to lie my ass off to get hired). However, despite the job title I actually spend most of the day chopping fruit and washing dishes. They don't seem to actually want me at the sandwich counter.

Today was exciting. Today they let me out of the kitchen to make smoothies and use the juicer, what fun.